New

I need new brown dress shoes. Actually - I kind of have a thing about shoes. Not an obsession like buying ten million pairs and keeping half of them unopened in the garage. No, not like that. I actually only have a few pairs and am currently wearing the heck out of a new set of Toms.

For me, shoes are nostalgic. Those are the shoes I wore during the earthquake relief in El Salvador. These ones are from my first date with Rachel. The worn out Nikes are the ones I wore in Africa (can you spot them in earlier posts?!)

Throwing away old shoes is always tough for me, usually requiring a whole lot of nag... I mean prodding from Rachel, followed by a stare-off-in-the-distance ritual where my mind travels back to all the paths those soles have left their prints on. That moment of meditation is more often than not followed by a whispered prayer of thanks, and no doubt a few words of repentance. You see, it is not just the good things that we remember, is it? Painful memories tend to be haunting, and memories of mistakes and sin can turn your stomach and cause your face to go flush years after your shoes carried you away from wherever it happened.

That's why I like new ones so much. My old friends were so good to me - it would take days to chronicle everything we did together - but they are finished now. The laces are fraying, the soles are dried out cracked, and soon it wouldn't even be healthy for me to try to walk in them any more...they're done. I love them, but it is over now. It is over, and there are adventures and mountains and sacred places that I need to get to that my old shoes just won't be able to take me.

The bittersweet moment culminates as I walk away from the trash and my mind is instantly begging my hands to find the box and pull out my new shoes which will take me God only knows where. Suddenly, while the fragrance of the past still lingers sweetly somewhere in my mind, my focus is gripped by today and tomorrow.

Yesterday matters, but not as much as today or tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to slip into my new shoes and tighten the Velcro straps as tight as they'll get. I am going to remember that I still have breath because ahead of me lies the opportunity to glorify my King and participate in the adventure of the rebirth of everything. My old shoes can't take me there - so I'm leaving them behind and moving on anyways.

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3v13-14