Saturday night here in the homestead. Energy is high here - we are eagerly awaiting the birth of Williamson number 5 - our third precious child. I can't believe that within a few days I'll be leading a family of five.
There are a lot of things going on these days that I have trouble believing. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I've been married to Rachel for six years, Aisha Grace is...huge, breathtakingly beautiful, and freaks me out with how much she is growing up. Gabriel is a growling, belly laughing, spaghetti throwing, bug squishing, stick sword wielding masterpiece with a killer smile and great motorcycle sound effects.
As I'm writing this, there are a few ladies gathering in the living room by the fireplace discussing another baby that's about to make its debut as well. It doesn't seem like that long ago that Pathways Church didn't even exist in my mind - that is beyond the faintest whisper in my ear and tug on my heart.
I'll never forget just over a year ago I was in Oregon. Praying. Agonizing, really. Suddenly in my mind, I saw myself like a newborn baby. Naked, helpless, umbilical cord still attached. As I watched, the cord was clamped and cut. This spoke to me deeply then about the painful detachment I was feeling from the place I had called home for years. Seeing myself lying there helpless now, I spoke up to God. "See, Lord. What am I supposed to do? How can I do anything for you? How am I supposed to get to where you are sending me?" Just then I heard the Lord reply, "I'm going to pick you up and carry you exactly where I need you."
That vision set the stage for the attitude we've carried throughout this entire process. God has blessed us in ways that our earthly minds might twist to create some inward feeling of confidence in our flesh - some feeling of having graduated from utter dependance as an infant. Throughout this process, we have celebrated major victories. We rejoice for a moment, breathe deeply, look at the mountain ahead of us, and remember that all these things are simply a sign that we are being carried in the arms of someone who knows what He is doing.
There is an energy in my spirit - kind of a butterflies feeling mixed with the same excited anticipation I used to feel as a kid the night before a trip to a theme park. Over the next several weeks, we are anticipating miracles on several fronts. We'll be solidifying our launch location. We're kicking off weekly 'preview' services. We're bringing on a worship leader. We're beginning a fund raising campaign in which we've got to raise a lot of money.
Outwardly, we are standing tall. We are boldly broadcasting our vision, fearlessly plowing forward, confidently making tough decisions, and loudly proclaiming truth to people who are far from God. Inwardly, we are a naked, helpless child in the warm arms of his Dad.
I ask you to join us. If you're reading this, there's no doubt you know us. Hopefully you love us. Possibly you feel some sort of joy and kindred connection with what God is doing here. I wouldn't be surprised if you did - that is the way the Spirit works! As we watch each other journey onward to take hold of that for which Christ has taken hold of us, there is an inward, divine joy that springs up from the same Spirit that flows in the depths of all of us and taps into the joy of a very proud Heavenly Father watching His children.
Join us in being strong. Rejoice with us. Plow forward with us. Tell people about what God is doing here. Be filled with the same fire and restless passion that propels us forward to reach a hopeless world.
Please, join us in being weak. Join us in holding Abba's hand. We have a lot of decisions to make, a lot of money to raise, a lot of puzzle pieces to fit together, and an enemy that wants to destroy it all. We have a precious baby about to enter the world, and a Momma that is going to need incredible strength to handle three little ones. Pray with us. Fast with us. Unite with us under the banner of "desperately needy".
There will be a lot to say over the next few months. Regardless of what details emerge, I know we'll be rejoicing - He's taking us right where we need to be.
I surrender all
Jeremy
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Life at 5,000 - What we've learned, and what we want to hear from YOU!
We’re here. I can finally say that! Ok, I guess I should clarify, because if you know my family, then you probably already know that we’ve been here for about a month and a half now. Well, we’ve been here for a month and a half but we haven’t really been here until now, I think, when I can say that we are finally starting to get here.
That was supposed to be confusing -- a perfect introduction to a blog about how life has been for us at 5,000 ft. so far.
Loading up and coming here felt just like the day before a big vacation or trip overseas. As you fold your clothes and check the ounces of the liquids you’ll be taking onboard, you can explain clearly what you are preparing for, but your mind hasn’t totally grasped it yet. The dumb thing about overseas trips, is that they always seem to end just when the fog is beginning to clear and you are starting to realize where you are and just what you are doing.
Good for us, the fog is clearing and we’re here for the long-haul.
Arriving here on July 6th, I had a job offer at a car dealership on July 8th. Sounded like good money...in exchange for my soul! Even though the next rent payment was looming in my mind, I turned down the 60+ hours a week, thank-you-very-much. It was then that I started using a guiding phrase that I’ve spoken at least 10 times a week since then - “I came here to plant a church!”
While we settled into our new house, I searched hard for jobs. Finally, I was hired by an email marketing company in Loveland to work four 10 hour shifts a week helping both english and spanish speaking customers over the phone. the arrangement works - I have mornings free and 3 days off a week, even though the pay is less than half of the dealership. I don’t care! I came here to plant a church!
The progress of building Pathways Church up for launch is going well. We’ve met several stellar people and are doing our best to build our team before we launch in February of 2012. We are already meeting weekly, and have some spiffy plans up our sleeves on how we can get the word out and begin serving our community over the next few months.
OK so there is this voice in the back of my mind right now saying, “Jeremy, tell them how it really is...tell them!” The entire time I’ve been writing this, I’ve been searching for a way to get beyond the dull updates and talk to you like we are in my living room sipping something and looking into each other’s eyes.
So - Here we go: This is tough. It is break into tears on the way to work tough. It is try to think happy thoughts tough. It is wash my Tom’s more often because my feet sweat a lot when I get nervous tough.
I know that I’m not Daniel standing before the Lions or Jesus heading to the Cross, but for me, the battles I’m fighting right now are stretching the faith and leadership ability which I’ve recently found to be embarrassingly miniscule.
Why should they follow me? How can we build legitimacy as a movement? Am I all talk?
Here’s the good news: In a typhoon of potential insecurities, I am keenly aware that this is not about me. We are driven by a nearly blood-boiling passion to reach people in Fort Collins who have written off the Savior, and have no clue that not only is He relevant to their lives, but he is an endless supply of the Spiritual Water that they are thirsty for. Not least of all, He deserves the adoration of those whom He created.
I’m telling you, I can already hear the testimonies of people who’ve encountered Christ, and I can already see them being baptized in Horsetooth Reservoir. I can hear them worship and pray (in English and in Spanish!), and I can already sense the Spirit of God moving among a family of faith that doesn’t even exist yet.
I honestly can’t predict what the next 6 months will be like. I do know one thing - if you’ve made it to the bottom of this blog, I know you are with us. The words of life spoken over us by family and friends, the leadership advice given by ARC and pastor friends of mine, and the support of churches like Palm Valley, Desperation, Harvest Chapel, and First Christian Church have been a continual source of courage. Thank you - and keep it coming!
We have a long road ahead -- I mean for cryin’ out loud, most days I feel like I could be sick (Like the open sea fishing trip kind of sick), and we haven’t even started the church yet.
In writing this, I can’t stop thinking about you - and where you are, and what you are doing. I have a thought: let’s encourage each other. What passion, or calling, or dream, or project, or idea, are you pursuing? What mountain has God placed in front of you that makes your feet sweat? Tell us about the radical thing that you are doing, or dreaming of doing, that you think could change the world!
Click here to go to the Pathways FB page and share your story with us. Just like you are sitting on the couch across from Rachel and I in our home. Don’t be shy - do it!
Thanks for your love, and your prayers!
Love,
Jeremy, (Who just wrote this); Rachel, (Who is 7 months pregnant and slap me in the face beautiful); Aisha, (Who is getting smarter and taller than your kid); Gabriel, (Who is 100% boy and got his first professional hair cut today), and Carmel (Who we haven’t met yet, and was given the name Carmel by Aisha until we find out the sex on his/her birthday in November!) - Now - go click on the link and share your story!!!
That was supposed to be confusing -- a perfect introduction to a blog about how life has been for us at 5,000 ft. so far.
Loading up and coming here felt just like the day before a big vacation or trip overseas. As you fold your clothes and check the ounces of the liquids you’ll be taking onboard, you can explain clearly what you are preparing for, but your mind hasn’t totally grasped it yet. The dumb thing about overseas trips, is that they always seem to end just when the fog is beginning to clear and you are starting to realize where you are and just what you are doing.
Good for us, the fog is clearing and we’re here for the long-haul.
Arriving here on July 6th, I had a job offer at a car dealership on July 8th. Sounded like good money...in exchange for my soul! Even though the next rent payment was looming in my mind, I turned down the 60+ hours a week, thank-you-very-much. It was then that I started using a guiding phrase that I’ve spoken at least 10 times a week since then - “I came here to plant a church!”
While we settled into our new house, I searched hard for jobs. Finally, I was hired by an email marketing company in Loveland to work four 10 hour shifts a week helping both english and spanish speaking customers over the phone. the arrangement works - I have mornings free and 3 days off a week, even though the pay is less than half of the dealership. I don’t care! I came here to plant a church!
The progress of building Pathways Church up for launch is going well. We’ve met several stellar people and are doing our best to build our team before we launch in February of 2012. We are already meeting weekly, and have some spiffy plans up our sleeves on how we can get the word out and begin serving our community over the next few months.
OK so there is this voice in the back of my mind right now saying, “Jeremy, tell them how it really is...tell them!” The entire time I’ve been writing this, I’ve been searching for a way to get beyond the dull updates and talk to you like we are in my living room sipping something and looking into each other’s eyes.
So - Here we go: This is tough. It is break into tears on the way to work tough. It is try to think happy thoughts tough. It is wash my Tom’s more often because my feet sweat a lot when I get nervous tough.
I know that I’m not Daniel standing before the Lions or Jesus heading to the Cross, but for me, the battles I’m fighting right now are stretching the faith and leadership ability which I’ve recently found to be embarrassingly miniscule.
Why should they follow me? How can we build legitimacy as a movement? Am I all talk?
Here’s the good news: In a typhoon of potential insecurities, I am keenly aware that this is not about me. We are driven by a nearly blood-boiling passion to reach people in Fort Collins who have written off the Savior, and have no clue that not only is He relevant to their lives, but he is an endless supply of the Spiritual Water that they are thirsty for. Not least of all, He deserves the adoration of those whom He created.
I’m telling you, I can already hear the testimonies of people who’ve encountered Christ, and I can already see them being baptized in Horsetooth Reservoir. I can hear them worship and pray (in English and in Spanish!), and I can already sense the Spirit of God moving among a family of faith that doesn’t even exist yet.
I honestly can’t predict what the next 6 months will be like. I do know one thing - if you’ve made it to the bottom of this blog, I know you are with us. The words of life spoken over us by family and friends, the leadership advice given by ARC and pastor friends of mine, and the support of churches like Palm Valley, Desperation, Harvest Chapel, and First Christian Church have been a continual source of courage. Thank you - and keep it coming!
We have a long road ahead -- I mean for cryin’ out loud, most days I feel like I could be sick (Like the open sea fishing trip kind of sick), and we haven’t even started the church yet.
In writing this, I can’t stop thinking about you - and where you are, and what you are doing. I have a thought: let’s encourage each other. What passion, or calling, or dream, or project, or idea, are you pursuing? What mountain has God placed in front of you that makes your feet sweat? Tell us about the radical thing that you are doing, or dreaming of doing, that you think could change the world!
Click here to go to the Pathways FB page and share your story with us. Just like you are sitting on the couch across from Rachel and I in our home. Don’t be shy - do it!
Thanks for your love, and your prayers!
Love,
Jeremy, (Who just wrote this); Rachel, (Who is 7 months pregnant and slap me in the face beautiful); Aisha, (Who is getting smarter and taller than your kid); Gabriel, (Who is 100% boy and got his first professional hair cut today), and Carmel (Who we haven’t met yet, and was given the name Carmel by Aisha until we find out the sex on his/her birthday in November!) - Now - go click on the link and share your story!!!
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Packing
Everyone's asleep. Its Sunday afternoon, and it seems like everyone in the family has a cold. I'm getting ready to go to work for one of the last times - I gave my notice a few days ago! This morning we began saying our goodbyes to the little church where I've been speaking on Sundays. We're even getting stuff packed up.
July 5th I'll pick up the Uhaul, load it up, and we are planning to pull out of the driveway here in Kansas City early on the 6th.
Praise God, what a special time in our lives. Not without its difficulties, though. Two days ago, right after Rachel and I had sent out letters to family members sharing our financial need -- we get an anonymous check in the mail for over $2,000.00. We were amazed and praising God! That is...until I got the email. Turns out my new 'boss' needs me to cash the check and wire the money to an 'orphanage' in Louisiana (AKA...some dude in another country wants me to cash a fake check and wire money to him before my bank calls me to say its a fake check.) AHHHHHHH! We called the local FBI office which, unfortunately, shared with us that there is tons of this going on - originating in Jamaica and Nigeria. Bummer.
But who cares?! God is still with us, and we are still moving by faith! I can't wait to be home. Rachel and I got a little giddy in the car on the way to the church this morning when we realized that two weeks from today we'll be attending church in Fort Collins; making new friends, building relationships, and dreaming about the future. Yahoo!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers during this fragile and crucial time in our lives. We love you!
Jeremy
PS - keep praying for me especially...the poison ivy seems to be creeping...
July 5th I'll pick up the Uhaul, load it up, and we are planning to pull out of the driveway here in Kansas City early on the 6th.
Praise God, what a special time in our lives. Not without its difficulties, though. Two days ago, right after Rachel and I had sent out letters to family members sharing our financial need -- we get an anonymous check in the mail for over $2,000.00. We were amazed and praising God! That is...until I got the email. Turns out my new 'boss' needs me to cash the check and wire the money to an 'orphanage' in Louisiana (AKA...some dude in another country wants me to cash a fake check and wire money to him before my bank calls me to say its a fake check.) AHHHHHHH! We called the local FBI office which, unfortunately, shared with us that there is tons of this going on - originating in Jamaica and Nigeria. Bummer.
But who cares?! God is still with us, and we are still moving by faith! I can't wait to be home. Rachel and I got a little giddy in the car on the way to the church this morning when we realized that two weeks from today we'll be attending church in Fort Collins; making new friends, building relationships, and dreaming about the future. Yahoo!
Thanks to all of you for your prayers during this fragile and crucial time in our lives. We love you!
Jeremy
PS - keep praying for me especially...the poison ivy seems to be creeping...
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Time to Go
Classic Starbucks scene (Clockwise from the left): Young couple looking into each others eyes, mustachioed older dude in a hawaiian shirt, two ladies chatting it up about who knows what, business man with his IBM laptop, two giddy scrapbookers with scissors and stickers spread out over two tables, and a guy sitting by himself drinking coffee, listening to Pandora, and trying to write a blog about church planting in Colorado. Yeah that's me.
I was really hoping to weave together some incredible words for you that would tell our story and inspire you at the same time. I just don't know how to do that right now. I'm sitting here in Liberty, Missouri, but feeling like I might as well be half way to Mars. What a strange time in our lives. Let me update you on where we are at:
The fam is great. Aisha is getting more and more gorgeous and more and more independent every day. Gabriel is a hoot. He prefers to have at least 5 scratches, bruises, or other injuries going at all times. Rachel is enjoying the peace of the 2nd trimester and looking really pregnant! Myself... I'm fighting a nasty case of poison ivy on my FACE.
More importantly, we are making decisions and taking leaps of faith daily like never before in our lives. God has drawn our hearts to somewhere else. He has set our compass toward a city, and like Abraham heading out from Haran to the land God promised him, we are also walking through territory we've never seen before and we are headed to a place where no one knows our name. We have a sense of calling, perhaps you could even say destiny, that makes Fort Collins seem familiar to us, though we've never lived there.
Last week we signed documents by faith on a lease for a home on the south side of Fort Collins. Amazing story here: We have found out the hard way that the rental market in Fort Collins is crazy. Because of the college and the economy, most good rental properties spend just hours on the market before they are leased out. Rachel and her mom Gay went out to Fort Collins last week with the simple goal of finding us a place to live. After a frustrating week and only one weak lead, they were preparing to head back to the airport when Gay's phone rang. It was a property manager who had a property she wanted to show Rachel and Gay immediately. The ladies rushed out the door and met the property manager at the house. It was an older home, but well kept and had tons of space, a big back yard, and sat right up against the mountains - just minutes from hiking and camping - a perfect fit for us. After the tour, the three ladies stood in the family room talking through the details. After Rachel told her our story, the woman began to share her own: The rental contract on the house had fallen through the night before, and while the woman was sorting through the over 40 voicemail inquiries about the house, she heard Gay's voice in her ears and God's voice in her heart telling her that we were the ones who needed the house. Pretty soon all three women were crying together, in awe of the way God works. They signed papers and the house is ours July 1st.
This week I'm taking phone interviews for jobs in Fort Collins and telling them, by faith, that we'll be there in 3-4 weeks. I'll be candid here and tell you that the reason all of this is by faith is because there is a chunk of change that it will take to move out there that hasn't materialized yet. Rent due: July 1. Baby due: November 16th. Church launching: Mid-Feb, 2012. And I'm still sitting here in Kansas City!!! I gotta be honest, though, I love this. What a cool place to be!
Abraham made it to where he was called, and his story of faith is epic. I serve Abraham's God, and He will not abandon me as I obey Him in ruthless faith, either. I can't wait to see what God does in the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted!
I was really hoping to weave together some incredible words for you that would tell our story and inspire you at the same time. I just don't know how to do that right now. I'm sitting here in Liberty, Missouri, but feeling like I might as well be half way to Mars. What a strange time in our lives. Let me update you on where we are at:
The fam is great. Aisha is getting more and more gorgeous and more and more independent every day. Gabriel is a hoot. He prefers to have at least 5 scratches, bruises, or other injuries going at all times. Rachel is enjoying the peace of the 2nd trimester and looking really pregnant! Myself... I'm fighting a nasty case of poison ivy on my FACE.
More importantly, we are making decisions and taking leaps of faith daily like never before in our lives. God has drawn our hearts to somewhere else. He has set our compass toward a city, and like Abraham heading out from Haran to the land God promised him, we are also walking through territory we've never seen before and we are headed to a place where no one knows our name. We have a sense of calling, perhaps you could even say destiny, that makes Fort Collins seem familiar to us, though we've never lived there.
Last week we signed documents by faith on a lease for a home on the south side of Fort Collins. Amazing story here: We have found out the hard way that the rental market in Fort Collins is crazy. Because of the college and the economy, most good rental properties spend just hours on the market before they are leased out. Rachel and her mom Gay went out to Fort Collins last week with the simple goal of finding us a place to live. After a frustrating week and only one weak lead, they were preparing to head back to the airport when Gay's phone rang. It was a property manager who had a property she wanted to show Rachel and Gay immediately. The ladies rushed out the door and met the property manager at the house. It was an older home, but well kept and had tons of space, a big back yard, and sat right up against the mountains - just minutes from hiking and camping - a perfect fit for us. After the tour, the three ladies stood in the family room talking through the details. After Rachel told her our story, the woman began to share her own: The rental contract on the house had fallen through the night before, and while the woman was sorting through the over 40 voicemail inquiries about the house, she heard Gay's voice in her ears and God's voice in her heart telling her that we were the ones who needed the house. Pretty soon all three women were crying together, in awe of the way God works. They signed papers and the house is ours July 1st.
This week I'm taking phone interviews for jobs in Fort Collins and telling them, by faith, that we'll be there in 3-4 weeks. I'll be candid here and tell you that the reason all of this is by faith is because there is a chunk of change that it will take to move out there that hasn't materialized yet. Rent due: July 1. Baby due: November 16th. Church launching: Mid-Feb, 2012. And I'm still sitting here in Kansas City!!! I gotta be honest, though, I love this. What a cool place to be!
Abraham made it to where he was called, and his story of faith is epic. I serve Abraham's God, and He will not abandon me as I obey Him in ruthless faith, either. I can't wait to see what God does in the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Here we Are
Sitting in my mother-in-law’s living room Missouri. The kids are taking naps and Elvis the cat is licking the window while the refrigerator hums away and everything else is silent.
Just over a month ago Rachel and I loaded up our stuff and our kids and headed north on nothing more than a deep sense of beckoning toward something more, and a vision to lead a church that passionately participates in the coming of the Kingdom by spreading the power of resurrection in its community and the world.
Doesn’t that sound great? We’re not there yet. There have been moments over this past month where I’ve felt like I was wandering around in a pitch dark room with my hands flailing out in front of me; my right hand searching for God’s will for my family and my left hand trying to keep me from knocking my head against something. I’ve never been out on a limb like this before. A few days after we arrived in the KC area I got a job as a waiter to keep food on the table (our table, that is). Some days I enjoy the simplicity of serving people and influencing the [very] lost people I work with. Other days I think I must be crazy -- like when I go home with fifteen bucks in my pocket after a tough shift. Add to the equation that Rachel is pregnant - due sometime in November. When we got the news we were thrilled and excited and grateful and stunned and really thinking that the timing couldn’t be more crazy. I don’t even know where we’re going to be living in November.
And all of that is what makes our situation so incredibly wonderful, and something that you may actually want to consider being jealous of!
Rachel and I have been praying seriously about whether God was leading us to pastor an existing church or plant a new one. I love the way that He spoke to Rachel about it. Either situation would present unique challenges, however planting a church in a city far from home is a perilous journey - a narrow path that requires some serious…...guts. According to Rachel, that’s why we must do it! Rachel heard God speaking to her through the book of Zechariah that taking the path of most resistance will result in much glory for God. That doesn’t have to be the rule every time, but this time that’s how Rachel hears it! This is God’s story, not ours. This is His moment to shine. He is at center stage and the spotlight is all over Him and everyone is watching. No one can predict what drama or hardships may come in the acts to follow, but one thing is for sure: At the end of the show the audience will be on their feet. We will be united in breathless awe of our Hero and how He manages to win every time.
So, we continue moving forward! I am in the beginning stages of church planting with ARC, the Association of Related Churches. One of the fastest growing church planting movements in America, ARC basically consists of several hundred churches who work together to encourage, train, and help fund guys like me who are ready to plant. It looks like Rachel and I will head to Little Rock for 5 days of intensive training in May. During the next month, we will also be praying and studying in order to select the city we’ll call home. We will keep you posted! In the meantime, please pray for us. We have an incredible number of huge decisions to make over the next few months. We have an impossible amount of money to raise. I just learned how to spell church plant, let alone do one. Good thing he’s in charge.
Just over a month ago Rachel and I loaded up our stuff and our kids and headed north on nothing more than a deep sense of beckoning toward something more, and a vision to lead a church that passionately participates in the coming of the Kingdom by spreading the power of resurrection in its community and the world.
Doesn’t that sound great? We’re not there yet. There have been moments over this past month where I’ve felt like I was wandering around in a pitch dark room with my hands flailing out in front of me; my right hand searching for God’s will for my family and my left hand trying to keep me from knocking my head against something. I’ve never been out on a limb like this before. A few days after we arrived in the KC area I got a job as a waiter to keep food on the table (our table, that is). Some days I enjoy the simplicity of serving people and influencing the [very] lost people I work with. Other days I think I must be crazy -- like when I go home with fifteen bucks in my pocket after a tough shift. Add to the equation that Rachel is pregnant - due sometime in November. When we got the news we were thrilled and excited and grateful and stunned and really thinking that the timing couldn’t be more crazy. I don’t even know where we’re going to be living in November.
And all of that is what makes our situation so incredibly wonderful, and something that you may actually want to consider being jealous of!
Rachel and I have been praying seriously about whether God was leading us to pastor an existing church or plant a new one. I love the way that He spoke to Rachel about it. Either situation would present unique challenges, however planting a church in a city far from home is a perilous journey - a narrow path that requires some serious…...guts. According to Rachel, that’s why we must do it! Rachel heard God speaking to her through the book of Zechariah that taking the path of most resistance will result in much glory for God. That doesn’t have to be the rule every time, but this time that’s how Rachel hears it! This is God’s story, not ours. This is His moment to shine. He is at center stage and the spotlight is all over Him and everyone is watching. No one can predict what drama or hardships may come in the acts to follow, but one thing is for sure: At the end of the show the audience will be on their feet. We will be united in breathless awe of our Hero and how He manages to win every time.
So, we continue moving forward! I am in the beginning stages of church planting with ARC, the Association of Related Churches. One of the fastest growing church planting movements in America, ARC basically consists of several hundred churches who work together to encourage, train, and help fund guys like me who are ready to plant. It looks like Rachel and I will head to Little Rock for 5 days of intensive training in May. During the next month, we will also be praying and studying in order to select the city we’ll call home. We will keep you posted! In the meantime, please pray for us. We have an incredible number of huge decisions to make over the next few months. We have an impossible amount of money to raise. I just learned how to spell church plant, let alone do one. Good thing he’s in charge.
And now we give all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the Church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Eph 3v20-21
Friday, January 28, 2011
Falling Right Now
It was just about award-worthy. I'm not sure if an award exists for this sort of thing, but I'm thinking that maybe I'll invent the superdad-who-conquered-the-grocery-store-with-a-long-list-and-two-kids award. My performance was breathtaking. While I didn't see anyone from Guiness hanging around to verify, I'd swear I set a new speed record. Seriously. When I bumped the shopping cart into a curb I was going so fast that Gabe almost flew out of the seat.
Once we got back to the SUV, Aisha asked if she could go "up up on the car." Every once in a while I will let curious, adventurous Aisha sit up on top of the Mountaineer while I'm loading Gabe and the groceries. Pretty good view up there for a three year old, I'd imagine. When it's time to go, I'll hold her legs steady so she can stand up. Then, after a deep breath and one last look around, we count to three...
And I always catch her.
Falling can, all at once, be the most terrifying and thrilling sensation. Having surrendered completely to the power of gravity, your senses overload while adrenaline makes your heart race, your face flush, and your sweat glands do their thing. Limbs flail and grasp and eyes wildly search for some way to regain control.
I'm falling. Over the past few years Rachel and I have sensed that something was up. At times it has been in the air so thick we could almost taste it. It has dominated our conversations with each other and with our Father. It has been fodder for dreams; waking and sleeping. It has turned my stomach and thrilled my heart on more than one occasion. God has been gently leading us to the edge of the unknown and we knew He would eventually ask us to jump. This past September and into the New Year, our palms started getting sweaty as we finally found ourselves, like the little girl on top of the SUV, standing on the edge of it and looking over. So, after a deep breath and one last look around, we counted to three...
Right now, I wish there was no such thing as falling. I wish we could go from the leap to His arms in no time at all. That has not been the case. This falling is such a test. Is He really going to be there, waiting at the bottom? Has He had me harnessed in this whole time? Does He even know that we jumped? Did He have anything to do with it?
Jesus, I trust you. I belong to you. I recognize your voice, and you know that all you have to do is say the word and we will obey. I trust that you've invited us to jump, and that your arms are extended and closer to us then we perceive - but all of my senses, and all of my earthly reasoning is screaming at me, upset that we've left the safety of the edge and have surrendered ourselves to gravity. I believe you, but God, help me with my unbelief.
Beyond shadows and visions, we do not know exactly what is next. We don't even know where we are going. All we know is that He is trustworthy, and though I haven't felt it yet, something tells me that the tips of His fingers are just inches away.
Once we got back to the SUV, Aisha asked if she could go "up up on the car." Every once in a while I will let curious, adventurous Aisha sit up on top of the Mountaineer while I'm loading Gabe and the groceries. Pretty good view up there for a three year old, I'd imagine. When it's time to go, I'll hold her legs steady so she can stand up. Then, after a deep breath and one last look around, we count to three...
And I always catch her.
Falling can, all at once, be the most terrifying and thrilling sensation. Having surrendered completely to the power of gravity, your senses overload while adrenaline makes your heart race, your face flush, and your sweat glands do their thing. Limbs flail and grasp and eyes wildly search for some way to regain control.
I'm falling. Over the past few years Rachel and I have sensed that something was up. At times it has been in the air so thick we could almost taste it. It has dominated our conversations with each other and with our Father. It has been fodder for dreams; waking and sleeping. It has turned my stomach and thrilled my heart on more than one occasion. God has been gently leading us to the edge of the unknown and we knew He would eventually ask us to jump. This past September and into the New Year, our palms started getting sweaty as we finally found ourselves, like the little girl on top of the SUV, standing on the edge of it and looking over. So, after a deep breath and one last look around, we counted to three...
Right now, I wish there was no such thing as falling. I wish we could go from the leap to His arms in no time at all. That has not been the case. This falling is such a test. Is He really going to be there, waiting at the bottom? Has He had me harnessed in this whole time? Does He even know that we jumped? Did He have anything to do with it?
Jesus, I trust you. I belong to you. I recognize your voice, and you know that all you have to do is say the word and we will obey. I trust that you've invited us to jump, and that your arms are extended and closer to us then we perceive - but all of my senses, and all of my earthly reasoning is screaming at me, upset that we've left the safety of the edge and have surrendered ourselves to gravity. I believe you, but God, help me with my unbelief.
Beyond shadows and visions, we do not know exactly what is next. We don't even know where we are going. All we know is that He is trustworthy, and though I haven't felt it yet, something tells me that the tips of His fingers are just inches away.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
New
I need new brown dress shoes. Actually - I kind of have a thing about shoes. Not an obsession like buying ten million pairs and keeping half of them unopened in the garage. No, not like that. I actually only have a few pairs and am currently wearing the heck out of a new set of Toms.
For me, shoes are nostalgic. Those are the shoes I wore during the earthquake relief in El Salvador. These ones are from my first date with Rachel. The worn out Nikes are the ones I wore in Africa (can you spot them in earlier posts?!)
Throwing away old shoes is always tough for me, usually requiring a whole lot of nag... I mean prodding from Rachel, followed by a stare-off-in-the-distance ritual where my mind travels back to all the paths those soles have left their prints on. That moment of meditation is more often than not followed by a whispered prayer of thanks, and no doubt a few words of repentance. You see, it is not just the good things that we remember, is it? Painful memories tend to be haunting, and memories of mistakes and sin can turn your stomach and cause your face to go flush years after your shoes carried you away from wherever it happened.
That's why I like new ones so much. My old friends were so good to me - it would take days to chronicle everything we did together - but they are finished now. The laces are fraying, the soles are dried out cracked, and soon it wouldn't even be healthy for me to try to walk in them any more...they're done. I love them, but it is over now. It is over, and there are adventures and mountains and sacred places that I need to get to that my old shoes just won't be able to take me.
The bittersweet moment culminates as I walk away from the trash and my mind is instantly begging my hands to find the box and pull out my new shoes which will take me God only knows where. Suddenly, while the fragrance of the past still lingers sweetly somewhere in my mind, my focus is gripped by today and tomorrow.
Yesterday matters, but not as much as today or tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to slip into my new shoes and tighten the Velcro straps as tight as they'll get. I am going to remember that I still have breath because ahead of me lies the opportunity to glorify my King and participate in the adventure of the rebirth of everything. My old shoes can't take me there - so I'm leaving them behind and moving on anyways.
For me, shoes are nostalgic. Those are the shoes I wore during the earthquake relief in El Salvador. These ones are from my first date with Rachel. The worn out Nikes are the ones I wore in Africa (can you spot them in earlier posts?!)
Throwing away old shoes is always tough for me, usually requiring a whole lot of nag... I mean prodding from Rachel, followed by a stare-off-in-the-distance ritual where my mind travels back to all the paths those soles have left their prints on. That moment of meditation is more often than not followed by a whispered prayer of thanks, and no doubt a few words of repentance. You see, it is not just the good things that we remember, is it? Painful memories tend to be haunting, and memories of mistakes and sin can turn your stomach and cause your face to go flush years after your shoes carried you away from wherever it happened.
That's why I like new ones so much. My old friends were so good to me - it would take days to chronicle everything we did together - but they are finished now. The laces are fraying, the soles are dried out cracked, and soon it wouldn't even be healthy for me to try to walk in them any more...they're done. I love them, but it is over now. It is over, and there are adventures and mountains and sacred places that I need to get to that my old shoes just won't be able to take me.
The bittersweet moment culminates as I walk away from the trash and my mind is instantly begging my hands to find the box and pull out my new shoes which will take me God only knows where. Suddenly, while the fragrance of the past still lingers sweetly somewhere in my mind, my focus is gripped by today and tomorrow.
Yesterday matters, but not as much as today or tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to slip into my new shoes and tighten the Velcro straps as tight as they'll get. I am going to remember that I still have breath because ahead of me lies the opportunity to glorify my King and participate in the adventure of the rebirth of everything. My old shoes can't take me there - so I'm leaving them behind and moving on anyways.
No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.
Philippians 3v13-14
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