Let's Pray

Saturday night here in the homestead. Energy is high here - we are eagerly awaiting the birth of Williamson number 5 - our third precious child. I can't believe that within a few days I'll be leading a family of five.

There are a lot of things going on these days that I have trouble believing. I can't believe how quickly time has passed. I've been married to Rachel for six years, Aisha Grace is...huge, breathtakingly beautiful, and freaks me out with how much she is growing up. Gabriel is a growling, belly laughing, spaghetti throwing, bug squishing, stick sword wielding masterpiece with a killer smile and great motorcycle sound effects.

As I'm writing this, there are a few ladies gathering in the living room by the fireplace discussing another baby that's about to make its debut as well. It doesn't seem like that long ago that Pathways Church didn't even exist in my mind - that is beyond the faintest whisper in my ear and tug on my heart.

I'll never forget just over a year ago I was in Oregon. Praying. Agonizing, really. Suddenly in my mind, I saw myself like a newborn baby. Naked, helpless, umbilical cord still attached. As I watched, the cord was clamped and cut. This spoke to me deeply then about the painful detachment I was feeling from the place I had called home for years. Seeing myself lying there helpless now, I spoke up to God. "See, Lord. What am I supposed to do? How can I do anything for you? How am I supposed to get to where you are sending me?" Just then I heard the Lord reply, "I'm going to pick you up and carry you exactly where I need you."

That vision set the stage for the attitude we've carried throughout this entire process. God has blessed us in ways that our earthly minds might twist to create some inward feeling of confidence in our flesh - some feeling of having graduated from utter dependance as an infant. Throughout this process, we have celebrated major victories. We rejoice for a moment, breathe deeply, look at the mountain ahead of us, and remember that all these things are simply a sign that we are being carried in the arms of someone who knows what He is doing.

There is an energy in my spirit - kind of a butterflies feeling mixed with the same excited anticipation I used to feel as a kid the night before a trip to a theme park. Over the next several weeks, we are anticipating miracles on several fronts. We'll be solidifying our launch location. We're kicking off weekly 'preview' services. We're bringing on a worship leader. We're beginning a fund raising campaign in which we've got to raise a lot of money.

Outwardly, we are standing tall. We are boldly broadcasting our vision, fearlessly plowing forward, confidently making tough decisions, and loudly proclaiming truth to people who are far from God. Inwardly, we are a naked, helpless child in the warm arms of his Dad.

I ask you to join us. If you're reading this, there's no doubt you know us. Hopefully you love us. Possibly you feel some sort of joy and kindred connection with what God is doing here. I wouldn't be surprised if you did - that is the way the Spirit works! As we watch each other journey onward to take hold of that for which Christ has taken hold of us, there is an inward, divine joy that springs up from the same Spirit that flows in the depths of all of us and taps into the joy of a very proud Heavenly Father watching His children.

Join us in being strong. Rejoice with us. Plow forward with us. Tell people about what God is doing here. Be filled with the same fire and restless passion that propels us forward to reach a hopeless world.

Please, join us in being weak. Join us in holding Abba's hand. We have a lot of decisions to make, a lot of money to raise, a lot of puzzle pieces to fit together, and an enemy that wants to destroy it all. We have a precious baby about to enter the world, and a Momma that is going to need incredible strength to handle three little ones. Pray with us. Fast with us. Unite with us under the banner of "desperately needy".

There will be a lot to say over the next few months. Regardless of what details emerge, I know we'll be rejoicing - He's taking us right where we need to be.

I surrender all

Jeremy

Life at 5,000 - What we've learned, and what we want to hear from YOU!

We’re here. I can finally say that! Ok, I guess I should clarify, because if you know my family, then you probably already know that we’ve been here for about a month and a half now. Well, we’ve been here for a month and a half but we haven’t really been here until now, I think, when I can say that we are finally starting to get here.

That was supposed to be confusing -- a perfect introduction to a blog about how life has been for us at 5,000 ft. so far.

 Loading up and coming here felt just like the day before a big vacation or trip overseas. As you fold your clothes and check the ounces of the liquids you’ll be taking onboard, you can explain clearly what you are preparing for, but your mind hasn’t totally grasped it yet. The dumb thing about overseas trips, is that they always seem to end just when the fog is beginning to clear and you are starting to realize where you are and just what you are doing.

Good for us, the fog is clearing and we’re here for the long-haul.

Arriving here on July 6th, I had a job offer at a car dealership on July 8th. Sounded like good money...in exchange for my soul! Even though the next rent payment was looming in my mind, I turned down the 60+ hours a week, thank-you-very-much. It was then that I started using a guiding phrase that I’ve spoken at least 10 times a week since then - “I came here to plant a church!”

While we settled into our new house, I searched hard for jobs. Finally, I was hired by an email marketing company in Loveland to work four 10 hour shifts a week helping both english and spanish speaking customers over the phone. the arrangement works - I have mornings free and 3 days off a week, even though the pay is less than half of the dealership. I don’t care! I came here to plant a church!

The progress of building Pathways Church up for launch is going well. We’ve met several stellar people and are doing our best to build our team before we launch in February of 2012. We are already meeting weekly, and have some spiffy plans up our sleeves on how we can get the word out and begin serving our community over the next few months.

OK so there is this voice in the back of my mind right now saying, “Jeremy, tell them how it really is...tell them!” The entire time I’ve been writing this, I’ve been searching for a way to get beyond the dull updates and talk to you like we are in my living room sipping something and looking into each other’s eyes.

So - Here we go: This is tough. It is break into tears on the way to work tough. It is try to think happy thoughts tough. It is wash my Tom’s more often because my feet sweat a lot when I get nervous tough.

I know that I’m not Daniel standing before the Lions or Jesus heading to the Cross, but for me, the battles I’m fighting right now are stretching the faith and leadership ability which I’ve recently found to be embarrassingly miniscule.

Why should they follow me? How can we build legitimacy as a movement? Am I all talk?

Here’s the good news: In a typhoon of potential insecurities, I am keenly aware that this is not about me. We are driven by a nearly blood-boiling passion to reach people in Fort Collins who have written off the Savior, and have no clue that not only is He relevant to their lives, but he is an endless supply of the Spiritual Water that they are thirsty for. Not least of all, He deserves the adoration of those whom He created.

I’m telling you, I can already hear the testimonies of people who’ve encountered Christ, and I can already see them being baptized in Horsetooth Reservoir. I can hear them worship and pray (in English and in Spanish!), and I can already sense the Spirit of God moving among a family of faith that doesn’t even exist yet.

I honestly can’t predict what the next 6 months will be like. I do know one thing - if you’ve made it to the bottom of this blog, I know you are with us. The words of life spoken over us by family and friends, the leadership advice given by ARC and pastor friends of mine, and the support of churches like Palm Valley, Desperation, Harvest Chapel, and First Christian Church have been a continual source of courage. Thank you - and keep it coming!

We have a long road ahead -- I mean for cryin’ out loud, most days I feel like I could be sick (Like the open sea fishing trip kind of sick), and we haven’t even started the church yet.

In writing this, I can’t stop thinking about you - and where you are, and what you are doing. I have a thought: let’s encourage each other. What passion, or calling, or dream, or project, or idea, are you pursuing? What mountain has God placed in front of you that makes your feet sweat? Tell us about the radical thing that you are doing, or dreaming of doing, that you think could change the world!

Click here to go to the Pathways FB page and share your story with us. Just like you are sitting on the couch across from Rachel and I in our home. Don’t be shy - do it!

Thanks for your love, and your prayers!

Love,

Jeremy, (Who just wrote this); Rachel, (Who is 7 months pregnant and slap me in the face beautiful); Aisha, (Who is getting smarter and taller than your kid); Gabriel, (Who is 100% boy and got his first professional hair cut today), and Carmel (Who we haven’t met yet, and was given the name Carmel by Aisha until we find out the sex on his/her birthday in November!) - Now - go click on the link and share your story!!!

Packing

Everyone's asleep. Its Sunday afternoon, and it seems like everyone in the family has a cold. I'm getting ready to go to work for one of the last times - I gave my notice a few days ago! This morning we began saying our goodbyes to the little church where I've been speaking on Sundays. We're even getting stuff packed up.

July 5th I'll pick up the Uhaul, load it up, and we are planning to pull out of the driveway here in Kansas City early on the 6th.

Praise God, what a special time in our lives. Not without its difficulties, though. Two days ago, right after Rachel and I had sent out letters to family members sharing our financial need -- we get an anonymous check in the mail for over $2,000.00. We were amazed and praising God! That is...until I got the email. Turns out my new 'boss' needs me to cash the check and wire the money to an 'orphanage' in Louisiana (AKA...some dude in another country wants me to cash a fake check and wire money to him before my bank calls me to say its a fake check.) AHHHHHHH! We called the local FBI office which, unfortunately, shared with us that there is tons of this going on - originating in Jamaica and Nigeria. Bummer.

But who cares?! God is still with us, and we are still moving by faith! I can't wait to be home. Rachel and I got a little giddy in the car on the way to the church this morning when we realized that two weeks from today we'll be attending church in Fort Collins; making new friends, building relationships, and dreaming about the future. Yahoo!

Thanks to all of you for your prayers during this fragile and crucial time in our lives. We love you!

Jeremy

PS - keep praying for me especially...the poison ivy seems to be creeping...

Time to Go

Classic Starbucks scene (Clockwise from the left): Young couple looking into each others eyes, mustachioed older dude in a hawaiian shirt, two ladies chatting it up about who knows what, business man with his IBM laptop, two giddy scrapbookers with scissors and stickers spread out over two tables, and  a guy sitting by himself drinking coffee, listening to Pandora, and trying to write a blog about church planting in Colorado. Yeah that's me.

I was really hoping to weave together some incredible words for you that would tell our story and inspire you at the same time. I just don't know how to do that right now. I'm sitting here in Liberty, Missouri, but feeling like I might as well be half way to Mars. What a strange time in our lives. Let me update you on where we are at:

The fam is great. Aisha is getting more and more gorgeous and more and more independent every day. Gabriel is a hoot. He prefers to have at least 5 scratches, bruises, or other injuries going at all times. Rachel is enjoying the peace of the 2nd trimester and looking really pregnant! Myself... I'm fighting a nasty case of poison ivy on my FACE.

More importantly, we are making decisions and taking leaps of faith daily like never before in our lives. God has drawn our hearts to somewhere else. He has set our compass toward a city, and like Abraham heading out from Haran to the land God promised him, we are also walking through territory we've never seen before and we are headed to a place where no one knows our name. We have a sense of calling, perhaps you could even say destiny, that makes Fort Collins seem familiar to us, though we've never lived there.

Last week we signed documents by faith on a lease for a home on the south side of Fort Collins. Amazing story here: We have found out the hard way that the rental market in Fort Collins is crazy. Because of the college and the economy, most good rental properties spend just hours on the market before they are leased out. Rachel and her mom Gay went out to Fort Collins last week with the simple goal of finding us a place to live. After a frustrating week and only one weak lead, they were preparing to head back to the airport when Gay's phone rang. It was a property manager who had a property she wanted to show Rachel and Gay immediately. The ladies rushed out the door and met the property manager at the house. It was an older home, but well kept and had tons of space, a big back yard, and sat right up against the mountains - just minutes from hiking and camping - a perfect fit for us. After the tour, the three ladies stood in the family room talking through the details. After Rachel told her our story, the woman began to share her own: The rental contract on the house had fallen through the night before, and while the woman was sorting through the over 40 voicemail inquiries about the house, she heard Gay's voice in her ears and God's voice in her heart telling her that we were the ones who needed the house. Pretty soon all three women were crying together, in awe of the way God works. They signed papers and the house is ours July 1st.

This week I'm taking phone interviews for jobs in Fort Collins and telling them, by faith, that we'll be there in 3-4 weeks. I'll be candid here and tell you that the reason all of this is by faith is because there is a chunk of change that it will take to move out there that hasn't materialized yet. Rent due: July 1. Baby due: November 16th. Church launching: Mid-Feb, 2012. And I'm still sitting here in Kansas City!!! I gotta be honest, though, I love this. What a cool place to be!

Abraham made it to where he was called, and his story of faith is epic. I serve Abraham's God, and He will not abandon me as I obey Him in ruthless faith, either. I can't wait to see what God does in the next few weeks. I'll keep you posted!

Here we Are

Sitting in my mother-in-law’s living room Missouri. The kids are taking naps and Elvis the cat is licking the window while the refrigerator hums away and everything else is silent.

Just over a month ago Rachel and I loaded up our stuff and our kids and headed north on nothing more than a deep sense of beckoning toward something more, and a vision to lead a church that passionately participates in the coming of the Kingdom by spreading the power of resurrection in its community and the world.

Doesn’t that sound great? We’re not there yet. There have been moments over this past month where I’ve felt like I was wandering around in a pitch dark room with my hands flailing out in front of me; my right hand searching for God’s will for my family and my left hand trying to keep me from knocking my head against something. I’ve never been out on a limb like this before. A few days after we arrived in the KC area I got a job as a waiter to keep food on the table (our table, that is). Some days I enjoy the simplicity of serving people and influencing the [very] lost people I work with. Other days I think I must be crazy -- like when I go home with fifteen bucks in my pocket after a tough shift. Add to the equation that Rachel is pregnant - due sometime in November. When we got the news we were thrilled and excited and grateful and stunned and really thinking that the timing couldn’t be more crazy. I don’t even know where we’re going to be living in November.

And all of that is what makes our situation so incredibly wonderful, and something that you may actually want to consider being jealous of!

Rachel and I have been praying seriously about whether God was leading us to pastor an existing church or plant a new one. I love the way that He spoke to Rachel about it. Either situation would present unique challenges, however planting a church in a city far from home is a perilous journey - a narrow path that requires some serious…...guts. According to Rachel, that’s why we must do it! Rachel heard God speaking to her through the book of Zechariah that taking the path of most resistance will result in much glory for God. That doesn’t have to be the rule every time, but this time that’s how Rachel hears it! This is God’s story, not ours. This is His moment to shine. He is at center stage and the spotlight is all over Him and everyone is watching. No one can predict what drama or hardships may come in the acts to follow, but one thing is for sure: At the end of the show the audience will be on their feet. We will be united in breathless awe of our Hero and how He manages to win every time.

So, we continue moving forward! I am in the beginning stages of church planting with ARC, the Association of Related Churches. One of the fastest growing church planting movements in America, ARC basically consists of several hundred churches who work together to encourage, train, and help fund guys like me who are ready to plant. It looks like Rachel and I will head to Little Rock for 5 days of intensive training in May. During the next month, we will also be praying and studying in order to select the city we’ll call home. We will keep you posted! In the meantime, please pray for us. We have an incredible number of huge decisions to make over the next few months. We have an impossible amount of money to raise. I just learned how to spell church plant, let alone do one. Good thing he’s in charge.

And now we give all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the Church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Eph 3v20-21

Falling Right Now

It was just about award-worthy. I'm not sure if an award exists for this sort of thing, but I'm thinking that maybe I'll invent the superdad-who-conquered-the-grocery-store-with-a-long-list-and-two-kids award. My performance was breathtaking. While I didn't see anyone from Guiness hanging around to verify, I'd swear I set a new speed record. Seriously. When I bumped the shopping cart into a curb I was going so fast that Gabe almost flew out of the seat.

Once we got back to the SUV, Aisha asked if she could go "up up on the car." Every once in a while I will let curious, adventurous Aisha sit up on top of the Mountaineer while I'm loading Gabe and the groceries. Pretty good view up there for a three year old, I'd imagine. When it's time to go, I'll hold her legs steady so she can stand up. Then, after a deep breath and one last look around, we count to three...

And I always catch her.

Falling can, all at once, be the most terrifying and thrilling sensation. Having surrendered completely to the power of gravity, your senses overload while adrenaline makes your heart race, your face flush, and your sweat glands do their thing. Limbs flail and grasp and eyes wildly search for some way to regain control.

I'm falling. Over the past few years Rachel and I have sensed that something was up. At times it has been in the air so thick we could almost taste it. It has dominated our conversations with each other and with our Father. It has been fodder for dreams; waking and sleeping. It has turned my stomach and thrilled my heart on more than one occasion. God has been gently leading us to the edge of the unknown and we knew He would eventually ask us to jump. This past September and into the New Year, our palms started getting sweaty as we finally found ourselves, like the little girl on top of the SUV,  standing on the edge of it and looking over. So, after a deep breath and one last look around, we counted to three...

Right now, I wish there was no such thing as falling. I wish we could go from the leap to His arms in no time at all. That has not been the case. This falling is such a test. Is He really going to be there, waiting at the bottom? Has He had me harnessed in this whole time? Does He even know that we jumped? Did He have anything to do with it?

Jesus, I trust you. I belong to you. I recognize your voice, and you know that all you have to do is say the word and we will obey. I trust that you've invited us to jump, and that your arms are extended and closer to us then we perceive - but all of my senses, and all of my earthly reasoning is screaming at me, upset that we've left the safety of the edge and have surrendered ourselves to gravity. I believe you, but God, help me with my unbelief.

Beyond shadows and visions, we do not know exactly what is next. We don't even know where we are going. All we know is that He is trustworthy,  and though I haven't felt it yet, something tells me that the tips of His fingers are just inches away.

New

I need new brown dress shoes. Actually - I kind of have a thing about shoes. Not an obsession like buying ten million pairs and keeping half of them unopened in the garage. No, not like that. I actually only have a few pairs and am currently wearing the heck out of a new set of Toms.

For me, shoes are nostalgic. Those are the shoes I wore during the earthquake relief in El Salvador. These ones are from my first date with Rachel. The worn out Nikes are the ones I wore in Africa (can you spot them in earlier posts?!)

Throwing away old shoes is always tough for me, usually requiring a whole lot of nag... I mean prodding from Rachel, followed by a stare-off-in-the-distance ritual where my mind travels back to all the paths those soles have left their prints on. That moment of meditation is more often than not followed by a whispered prayer of thanks, and no doubt a few words of repentance. You see, it is not just the good things that we remember, is it? Painful memories tend to be haunting, and memories of mistakes and sin can turn your stomach and cause your face to go flush years after your shoes carried you away from wherever it happened.

That's why I like new ones so much. My old friends were so good to me - it would take days to chronicle everything we did together - but they are finished now. The laces are fraying, the soles are dried out cracked, and soon it wouldn't even be healthy for me to try to walk in them any more...they're done. I love them, but it is over now. It is over, and there are adventures and mountains and sacred places that I need to get to that my old shoes just won't be able to take me.

The bittersweet moment culminates as I walk away from the trash and my mind is instantly begging my hands to find the box and pull out my new shoes which will take me God only knows where. Suddenly, while the fragrance of the past still lingers sweetly somewhere in my mind, my focus is gripped by today and tomorrow.

Yesterday matters, but not as much as today or tomorrow. Tomorrow I am going to slip into my new shoes and tighten the Velcro straps as tight as they'll get. I am going to remember that I still have breath because ahead of me lies the opportunity to glorify my King and participate in the adventure of the rebirth of everything. My old shoes can't take me there - so I'm leaving them behind and moving on anyways.

No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us.

Philippians 3v13-14 

Welcome, Gabriel

Wednesday afternoon I was sitting in my office when I leaned back in my chair, and for just a second imagined what it would be like if Rachel were to go into labor. It wasn't a far fetched dream, since we were officially 5 days late.

Just then my phone started singing Rachel's ringtone. "Guess what babe!" That was the beginning of a really long night. Rachel was having strong contractions about 15-20 minutes apart, and although this had happened before, she knew instinctively that this was the real deal. I came home a few minutes later to go on a walk and think though our plans. I have to admit that I was pretty skeptical-  I didn't want to get my hopes up and be let down yet again. After a while, though, it was clear that this was it. Since she was still so early in labor, we thought it would be best that Rachel's mom and sister continue to take care of her while I go back to the church for another hour or so.

By 9pm there was no doubt! My mind was all mixed up and foggy, so I called a quick meeting with Rachel's mom and sister to make sure we had everything set. We decided to try and get Aisha and her cousin Lyla to bed before we took off to the birthing center. Rachel was having contractions about every 5 minutes, and they were stong enough that she was starting to groan through them.

We left for the birth center at about 11pm. When we arrived we learned that Rachel was at 3 cm and 80% effaced. The midwife got us right into our room. Rach labored like a pro. As each contraction came and went she would moan with a deep "ooooooooooh", like we learned in our childbirth classes. Feeling a little odd making bovine sound effects, Rach asked us to moan with her - then quickly shushed me because my voice was too low and annoying. Melissa moaned with her through every contraction - she was a huge encouragement to Rachel.

At 2:45 am Rachel was at a 5+ and it was time to get into the tub. Contractions were coming fast and furious, and the tub provided huge relief! Rach was still having contractions, but she almost fell asleep! No wonder they call water the midwife's epidural! Just two hours later she was at 10cm and pushing. I can't tell you how proud I was of Rachel. So much pain but such a sweet spirit! Our midwife Nivia was a pro - a short, 60 year old Jewish fireball from New York who has delivered nearly 5,000 babies. When Rachel was about to push she put her hands over her belly and prayed the most beautiful prayer of blessing in Hebrew- calling Gabriel to come out!

At 5:12 am the midwives let me help catch Gabe and bring him up to Rachels chest. He was breathing perfectly and enjoying the comfort of his mommy's arms. It took a little rub on his back to coax out a squak, then a good cry. He took to the breast instantly, then after about 30 minutes I cut the cord and the ladies began to attend to Rachel while Gabriel was cleaned up, weighed, and wrapped in blankets. Official stats: 9lbs. 2.5oz, 21 in.

We are amazed. Thank you, Faithful Father for giving us such a precious gift. Thanks for Rachel's strength, her incredible endurance, and for keeping both her and Gabriel completely healthy.

PS - Turns out the Jewish midwife's husband is a pediatrician - Gabe has a certain special appointment with him on the 8th day...

The Waddling Woman Waits

I should be headed to bed right now, but I couldn't help it - I had to write. Rachel and I are in the middle of this strange dreamworld where waiting and wondering and waddling are the consuming activities of every day. I wonder how many times we've said, "He could come today," or , "I think this contraction hurts more than the other ones have." Officially we aren't due until next Friday, the 19th, but Rachel's body is already running practice laps - so there's no telling.

Its hilarious. On one hand it kind of feels like Wednesday in the office and you remember that on Friday you are leaving on this huge vacation to Tahiti or something, and an electric zip of adrenaline sends kamikaze butterflies through your guts. On the other hand it is kind of like the feeling you get when the bell is going to ring in like 2 minutes and you know that it is "Manly Mondays" in football practice and you are about to go through something that might make you puke, but at the very least is going to leave you exhausted and sore. You really want to be there on the field but the self-preservation shoulder angel is screaming that you would be better off had you joined the chess club instead.

I can't wait to meet Gabe. Rach is amazing - she's beautiful and tough and I know she's going to do great. Aisha is getting a little jealous already (she's tired of this mystery boy that is already stealing the limelight). I know she'll make it, and learning to share won't be half bad.

To Gabriel

 Flawless - He is fashioning all the delicate, inner parts of your body, knitting you together with complexities and engineering that the brightest human mind could never fathom or explain with an equation.

Marvelous - It must be to be you, tightly bound in the dark, warm womb. Never alone. The heartbeat and voice of your mother, muffled greetings from your father, and the laughter of your sister accompany the nearer presence of your creator.

He has already seen your shape and form. He knows whether you’ve inherited my nose or your mother’s eyes. Having laid out the days of your life in His book, He knows what sort of man you’ll become - my guess is that you’ve already made Him proud.

This is something that He and I have in common - both your creator and I have thoughts about you that are too precious to be contained with mere language. We have both loved you since you were nothing more than an idea. I have already held you a thousand times in my thoughts

I don’t need to know anything about your appearance, your abilities, or your nature. Whatever the source of your future guilt or glory, your future doing is completely shadowed by your simple being. It is enough to know that you are my son.

The preparations are just about finished. Your room is almost ready, your grandmothers have already bought plane tickets, and your mom, dad, and sister can hardly wait to meet you.

Ps 139:13-18

Lent

So I was sitting in a coffee shop this morning having my usual stare-out-the-window-and -think time, and I couldn’t help but notice something hilarious. Across the street is an income tax joint - you know one of those places that promises the best and fastest refund possible. Being tax season, I guess they must be in full gear on marketing, because they have these poor college kids (and they must be truly poor to take a job like this) standing on the side of the busy road in ridiculous Statue of Liberty costumes.  Seriously - like a choir robe from a trendy church in 1986 with a spiky hat.

I’m sure their job description is pretty simple:  “Smile and wave at cars passing by to draw attention to the business.”  The funny thing is, the Statue of Liberty girl this morning was not smiling or waving.  She was texting - like for a good half hour she was staring down at her phone with her fingers going a mile-a-minute. Its not like someone had forced her into Lady Libertydom - She applied for the job. She was dressed for the part, and was even expecting a paycheck for her efforts - but she was completely distracted by her bff who was constantly lol-ing while they shared omg moments. Meanwhile she was completely oblivious that a texting Statue of Liberty makes even less sense than a smiling-waving one.

A follower of Christ is also curious creature. We have committed to a life that is foolishness to most everyone. Our struggle is that while at some point we were committed enough to put on the costume, as time goes by we forget to smile and wave. We forget to do what we were born to do. We get distracted. A distracted Christ Follower looks foolish in a different and less noble way than a committed one - like a ship puffing out steam and blowing its intimidating horn while sitting still in the harbor. Like a college girl texting on the side of the road in a Statue of Liberty costume.

This is why I love Lent. Lent is when we scrape off the barnacles and put our oars back into the water. It is a time to turn off everything with a switch (if only two year olds had a switch) and sit quietly - staring deeply into His eyes. It is a time for being quiet and reverent, repentant and focused. Lent is when we renew our hearts and prepare ourselves for the celebration of the life and death and life of our King, Lover, Redeemer. Its when we think again about what each of those titles really mean.

During this season, may we all adjust our robes, straighten out our spiky hats, and be who we were created to be - incurable lovers of Jesus.

The Dirge

Aisha Grace

Aisha is almost three.
She is a bouncing, crayon-on-wall coloring, see how far I can get from the chair leaping, green tomatoes out of the garden picking princess with a pretty good tiger growl and an incredible smile.

"Daddy - shhhh...stop talking. Me want ice cream."
"Daddy - I peed in me bath."
"Daddy - I peed in the grass."
"Daddy - me princess, you prince."

and that's when I melt into nothing.

I'm not very good at babies - especially not newborns. Its not like I don't love my kid or something, but they are just kind of like...I dunno...a worm. I mean I feel a little helpless and hopelessly useless besides changing diapers or cuddling or passing them off to the feeding station (aka mommy). With Aisha I found myself waiting excitedly for the "next stage" and dreaming about the day that I just lived out today.

We made up a stupid song for cleaning the house, fought a quick battle to get her teeth brushed, rinsed the pee out of the tub (who knows what twisted two year old circuitry inspired her to relieve herself in the empty tub when we weren't looking) sang the songs, prayed the prayers, and kissed her soft cheek good night.

I'm undone because the days I was so eagerly hoping for are here...but they are passing. No doubt the best days are ahead, but these ones will never return. Ok forgive me that I'm trudging through the same dirge that every parent does at some point, but this is really tough.

So - Gabriel is coming. And since I'm not strong enough to keep the earth from spinning, or whatever it is that makes time, I'll do what I know I can do. I will live in slow motion. I will hold on to each memory like the last bubble that makes it all the way across the street and into the neighbor's tree before it pops. I will remember that kids were born to grow up, and I will enjoy them all the way from worm to wedding day.

Breaking the Silence - Anybody There?

The last time my fingers danced around the keyboard to write in this blog I was sitting in a hotel 10,000 miles away. We are back in Texas now. I was about to say that we are back home now, but the sense of what home is has changed for us somewhat with all this traveling. If we had a compass to point toward home, it would be useless - always pointing straight down at our feet.

It has been a happy 7 months now that we've been back from Africa. God blessed us to move into an incredible home. The day we got back Rachel and I found out that we were pregnant! Seven months later Rachel is entering into the inevitable stages of misery that precede Gabriel's birthday!

Aisha is doing wonderful- she talks about her Agogo and Isaac daily. I have no doubt that were we to move back to Malawi today she would feel right at home. She is such a precious girl. Growing up and speaking so much now- she is down right hilarious.

We are enjoying ministry to middle school students at Palm Valley Church- it is awesome to see God transforming the lives of young people while their hearts are so tender. I am also leading a few missions trips in the coming months - taking a team to Guatemala in June to visit an orphanage run by Tom and Susan Stukengberg in the Mayan village of Santiago Atitlan. Then in July I'm taking 25 to Thailand to lend a hand to Mercy International, an incredible Australian organization caring for orphans who are HIV+.

Our prayer these days is that God would simply use us to make a difference in people's lives wherever we are. Some days it is hard to be back, but we remember that we serve the King of Kings- and he knows what he is doing.

We'll Never Forget

Hello Family and Friends! We are excited to share some of the highlights from the last couple of months. What a great time! We had a visit from Jeremy's mom, a trip to Mozambique, National parks, visiting the sick, preaching and training, strange rashes...so much happened! Where do we start?!

Rachel and I took a day to take Aisha to a national park about an hour away to see some of the wildlife up-close and personal. She loved it! We liked it so much we ended up taking my mom there when she was in town. This was a huge protected area where a lot of wildlife could be spotted from the road.

Nyala and Zebra

This place was so great!

Wildebeest (AKA Crocfood!)


These were a couple of friendly guys that I met with Mom at Liwonde. I could have reached out and touched them! In fact, the guide was daring me to jump on top and wrestle him. I admit it - I didn't have the guts.


Speaking of guts...

Here I am enjoying a meal offered to me in Mozambique. These are chunks of goat stomach with goat intestine wound up around.

Here are the goats before dinner...

We preached in two different village churches in Mozambique - they were packed with happy people!

Pastors in Tete, Mozambique

The village I stayed in near the Zambezi River in Tete

The church drumset

The small brick structure was my squatty potty and shower. The funny thing was that the wall only came up to just below my chest and there were about a hundred people around...yes...watching the white guy take a bath.



We've been telling you quite a bit about the community based HIV/AIDS support center called WOFAD that we've been working quite closely with. Just before mom came it, we were conducting an experiment with them, attempting to make soap from goat fat and homemade lye.
Making soap

After 3 hours of cooking smelly fat and caustic lye we ended up with...smelly fat. Oh yeah...and the next day I (Jeremy) broke out in a rash that covered my entire body save my face and lasted for almost two weeks. I think we'll leave the soap idea alone for now!

The whole point of the soap was to try and help the organization create a means of self-sustainability. They have already had some help from the Canadian government, and are keeping a corral of pigs which they are able to breed and sell. The proceeds go toward their community awareness, HIV testing, and Home Based Care activities. Here is the newest batch of piglets! These guys were only about 2 weeks old when we took this picture.

Once mom came into town, we spent a lot of time visiting the sick and dying in their homes and in the hospital. Three of our patients died while mom was here. One of them was a little one-year-old boy, Martin, who had pulled a pot of boiling water over himself. He has a sister who suffers because of Cerebral Malaria, so we were in his home just hours before he burned himself. We saw him again in the hospital, just days before he died.

Another was Paulo. Paulo was 35 years old, and had been lying on a mat for 3 months; unable to eat anything without vomiting. His family didn't understand the illness, yet refused to take him to the hospital. They suspected witchcraft and were simply waiting for him to die. The ladies of WOFAD acted against the families will and arranged transportation for him to be taken to the hospital. Even in Malawi it is illegal to deny anyone medical attention if they want it. Paulo was desperate! Once arriving in the public hospital, the only bed available for him was a mat on the floor. Several liters of intravenous fluids were all the hospital could offer, and Paulo died, most likely of AIDS, just two days later.

The third patient we lost we weren't able to meet at all. Arriving at her house with much needed food and medication, we learned that she was away visiting the witch-doctor. She died the next day.


We love working with WOFAD. One of the patients whom we have seen turn around completely is an elderly woman we lovingly call Agogo, or "Granny". When we first found her she had been abandoned to die by her family. She couldn't walk, had no food or water, and couldn't make it to the outdoor latrine to relieve herself. She was depressed, and told us several times that she was planning to kill herself.

Rachel with Agogo

Her life has been totally turned around! After several months of visits in which we would bring her food, pray with her, cook her breakfast, and help clean up around the house, she is a different person! I (Jeremy) brought a couple of guys from the church, and we worked together to clear a proper path for her to make it to the latrine.

Rachel and I have been shocked and humbled that through these small efforts God has literally changed this woman's life. What a priviledge.

Here is Jeremy's mom out on home visits with WOFAD. You can see the other WOFAD ladies in the blue vests. Baby Daniel was getting sleepy, so Mom offered to give him a free ride.

While we were out, we saw something I thought you might get a kick out of...
I think he is more famous here than he is there! Obama wraps, T-shirts...its crazy!


A few months ago I felt inspired to do something a little crazy. We are living in one of the poorest countries in the world. A few districts to the south of us are suffering quite a bit because the rains didn't come this year for them, and they lost most of their crops. In our part of the country, however, the crops abounded. The solution? Share! We hosted a 3 week food drive among our Blantyre district churches, and were able to raise well over 1,500 lbs. of food, clothing, and soap. These are the world's poorest people giving to each other! Isn't that exactly like Jesus?

The next few pictures tell the story of how we prepared and distributed everything that was collected. All in all 75 elderly people in a distant, forgotten village received a huge portion of clothes, corn meal (their staple food), salt, sugar, and soap.
It was hard to hold back the tears as we saw the humility and gratefulness of the people who received the gifts. What a moment.

Alright, well we wanted to give you a taste of what home life has been like the last couple of months as well, so...here is a taste of life in Africa!

Ladies from the church trying to teach Rachel how to separate the corn husks from the grain. She didn't quite get it! This is part of the process in making the flour for nsima...the staple food in this part of Africa.
Here's a typical meal at our house: Nsima, beef stew, and stewed greens from the garden.

Most of our produce we buy at this outdoor market. Mom took this picture from the market in Mbvumwe.

The other stuff we go to a big shop that sells imported stuff. The only jam you can find comes in cans...

Our not-so-scary guard dogs. From the left: Bimbo, Bimbo, and Roger. I have no idea why two of them share a name or why that name is Bimbo...but they are good boys.

Mom and I with some kids in Bangula- about 3 hours south of Blantyre on really tough dirt roads.

Our truck didn't make it all the way home from Bangula that night. We were stuck in the dark at the bottom of a mountain for a few hours before help came. That's Africa! You can see that Rachel was handling the situation quite well...

You could say that rivers in Africa are always full of life. If not fish, crocs, and hippos, for sure you'll find people - washing clothes, bathing, collecting water...

Mom, Rachel, and Aisha at the foot of the 3rd tallest mountain in Africa - Mulanje.

When Aisha gets out of hand, her Agogo knows just how to take care of the situation!
These two are going to miss each other when we go!

As I write this, Rachel and I are counting down our last few weeks here in Malawi. Life in America seems so far away at this point, but very soon it will be a reality once again. We are so grateful for all of the experiences we've had, and stand amazed at God. We don't claim to understand so much about God, but we do know this: He is good. He keeps His word. Most amazingly, he is able to use a young, inexperienced family to make a difference in the lives of people a long way away from home. Glory to Him.