Baby Fat

A curious thing, pregnancy is. It is good that pregnancy is not a contagious condition- we'd all be in trouble, then. However, I think that I have stumbled on to some very interesting facts that should be shared openly with you, my friends, and possibly on a wider scale to the scientific community. I do, in fact, think that some of the symptoms of pregnancy are communicable.

Let me first illustrate with a funny story: Yesterday Rachel and I decided to use the Burger King gift cards my mom sent us for Christmas (Mom is the wakiest stocking stuffer on the planet). Food in hand, I slid into a booth. Rachel followed. Well, she tried to anyway. I'm not so sure that sliding is the correct word here. Once she sat down, Rach realized that she had quite the situation on her hands. Her belly didn't quite fit, and she found herself stuck - wedged into the seat with her belly pressed up against the table. I'm not sure if you can picture this, but imagine Rachel sitting there helplessly trying to free herself with the table pushing into her belly. Yes, I am a good husband so yes, I helped her up. We were both laughing hysterically.

Rachel is breathtakingly beautiful, and her being pregnant only made her even more beautiful. Now in her ninth month of pregnancy, she looks much the same, only with a basketball tucked under her shirt. I, on the other hand, am not so much the same.

This is where my highly scientific hypothesis comes into play: Could it be that weight gain during pregnancy is somehow caused by a virus that can be passed on? My very first attempt at a proof paper will be a report on my own experience. Being an even six feet tall, I generally weigh in at a healthy 180 - 185. Strangely, since this pregnancy began, that number has rebelliously crept upward. Recently I cringed when arm on the midwife's scale balanced out at 195! That is right - I have joined the ranks of the portly. Why do you think I haven't posted any recent pictures yet?? Even one of Rachel's coworkers pointed out the newly acquired flesh around my neck. Oh yes, it is there. All I have to do is bull my head into my shoulders and it can be seen it all it's glory.

Please, do not worry. There is an additional (and hopeful) twist to my educated guess: Since Rachel will expect to lose at least 20 lbs. instantly upon Aisha's birth, I can expect that virus (which I shall name fatherius fatticus in latin) will also disappear from my system. If it doesn't go away on it's own, I have already signed my own prescription to combat this ill: running. I do love to run, and something tells me that my future may hold many a long jog.